Mercy is the cry of the soul thats stirred.

Ever notice how people bitch about something and fail to realize that they do the exact thing they are bitching about? Yeah. That's been life lately and I am feeling rather done with it. Tired of taking blame for shit that is not my fault nor in my control. Let's not mention the lack of respect from the mom in law. For some reason people seem to think we need to give her all the respect in the world but for what? She doesn't give any to us. We help her out more than her other 3 kids and still she can't remember that we live and sleep downstairs, Marc works nights and sleeps during the day or that she walks like a fucking elephant. She manipulates people to get her way all the time and I fucking loathe that. Considering she is someone who used to work nights and used to need quiet, you'd think she would have a bit of understanding. But no. We mention anything about the noise and suddenly she plays the "oh i can't do nothing in my house" card. We do pay rent here just so ya know, she won't rent to anyone who isn't family. I am to the point where I can't be nice anymore. Don't want to give us any respect, don't expect any in return regardless of who you are. I have no fucks to give anymore.

Finally made the leap over here to dreamwidth. Sad that LJ had to go but their terms of service changes are stupid and I don't want to be a part of that. So here I am to write once in awhile. Less than once a month but more than once a year at least. =P

You are such an ass when you don't have weed.
1. It is not my fault you run out so don't treat me like it is.
2. Yes, I know we just spent a chunk of change on the lawyer but still not my fault
you didn't put money aside for the months I was gone. Weed and legos were more important.
3. Don't be a jerk when *I* just cooked dinner for you. Everyone knows the cook don't eat first and if you don't want the crusty edges of the pizza fucking say something. I can't read your mind. Next time I do pizza I may just put olives on it to piss you off and see how you like it when I treat you like shit.

To wish ill will upon others. Those people did not know my piece of shit father.
Apparently my step Aunt ran into him at Walmart. She called my sister to let her know
that he is walking just fine and now rides a Harley (he spent 10 years in a wheelchair
and did the poor pitiful me act because he wouldn't go to physical therapy, which
made it easier for him to NEVER pay child support). Oh and he didn't even ask about
his kids or grand kids. He is not a good man of any kind. There is plenty of other
bad shitty stuff that he did but I'm am not gonna rehash that story again.

IF there is a God of any kind, PLEASE take him out in a fiery, painful crash and let him suffer.

If I offer to do veggie prep for your spaghetti feed to support the thing you do, make sure you have the damn containers. I even fucking asked if you had them and you said yes. I will not use mine because I do not want them ruined.

Never again.

Another song to add to the Kevin file. Damn you Corey Taylor for writing songs that fit that long lost friendship so well.

Some things are better off forgotten
We bury them in places that we really only visit by ourselves
Oh you were a version like no other
Oh they never tell you what to do when all you see is gone
What's the sense in anything when what they say is wrong?

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Stop me... I find myself believing
A story gets rewritten so a blasphemy's permitted once again
Oh and you were so perfectly imperfect
Oh they never tell you what to do when all you have are lies
What's the sense in anything? It's just one more goodbye

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Marc and I got moved into our new living space.
2 bedrooms and about a total of 750 sqft. I have my very own kitchen again
and that by itself makes me very happy. Sure it is the apartment at his mom's
house, but it is ours and she doesn't bother us. Besides I really lucked out
with my mom-in-law. She is pocket sized and super feisty and I love her to bits.
So happy to be here and to be able to help her out more.

We found our dining table/coffee table yesterday. It is one of the coolest tables
I have seen. It has two 8 inch folding leaves and it's legs are also expanding
so it raises and lowers easily. Articulated table for the win! It is from the
60's or 70's and formica/laminate, but I have looked up how to paint it and that
should be done before Christmas. When it is all up and the leaves are out it seats 8.
YAY!!

can't think of anything else super important right now...
more soon though.

Hope all is well in your world!

let's see... currently in the PNW hanging with my mom for 8 more weeks.
then back to the great white North. although at this point it is looking
pretty green.

i miss Marc. but i am also super proud of him. he got chosen to train
and fix some things in the companies Halifax location. they were going
to have his boss go, but the boss said to send him. so YAY! he flew
out this evening and will be back on Friday night. so proud of him.
while he doesn't love his job, it's mostly the people that make it
stressful, he does like organizing things and making the job easier
for himself and others. hoping this will be a stepping stone to
being the boss in one of the many locations. =)

health has been good. no relapses for almost 3 years now. on one
hand that worries me and on the other i am very thankful that the
med i take works well for me. hope it continues that way. when i
am back up North i will be hitting the gym for some incline walking
on a daily basis. i need to lose weight. while i have stopped drinking
soda for the most part and do eat a lot healthier, i know i have to walk
to lose. that is how i did it before. why walk in a gym? it is a safer
environment for me. since my balance isn't always spot on, it is just
better for me. not to mention having others around in case i over do it.
but i will try not to.

love being able to spend time with my friends here. i am so thankful
for my group of friends. you are all so supportive and caring and funnier
than any stand up comedian. you are what i miss most (besides my mom)
when i am away from the PNW. i can't imagine my life without you.
thank you for just being you and allowing me to be a part of your life.

hmmm... i think that is about it. not much crazy goes on in my life these
days and for that i am truly thankful!

hope you are well and ya'll should post soon.

that remind me of why i was against marriage for so long.

if you want to continue living the solitary life, where you
don't give a damn about what others want, then maybe you
should have thought about that before saying "i do."
just because your job is pissing you off, does not give you the
right to be an asshole to me. do you forget who picks you
up everyday? takes when the weather is extra cold? fixes you
dinner? does your laundry and folds it and puts it away?
does the shopping? i may just be a housewife for now, but
someday i won't even be that if you keep thinking you are
Mr. Solitary.

first and foremost, it is very nice to see some of you posting here again.
i wish more would come back and post bigger updates about their lives.
i miss my friends and the interactions with them. i miss reading the stories
of their lives. while FB gives us blurbs and peeks, it is no updating machine.

oh to the update...

things have mellowed out here. the sister in law in the house has finally
realized she is not the ruling monarch of the house. thank goodness.
i get that she has lived here for awhile, BUT it is the mom in laws house
and we all are just renters. we each married into this family and will
have to learn to get along whether we really like each other as people or not.

things with Marc and i are good. there's been hiccups and adjusting, as is
normal with any relationship/marriage/living with someone, but for the most
part it has all been minor stuff. it's not like we thought everything would
be perfect from the get go, thankfully we both have always had our eyes open.

we crossed the border and back again today without any issues!! this is the
first time in years that i haven't had to go inside the big building and
explain our whole story to a border agent. AND i made it to Lewiston, NY and
back home without asking for directions or getting lost! another first.
i don't get lost often, but with Marc not being a driver himself he is not
the best navigator. i find that instead of using google maps, using google
aerial view and mapping it myself is much easier. i can actually see where
to turn. g maps likes to send me on the round about toll bridges way. no
thanks! i don't mind tolls, they have their purpose, but if i can get there
without a toll road or bridge... i will.

met with the lawyer a couple weeks ago. lots of paperwork to fill out.
i hope all this goes somewhat quickly, but part of me thinks the he is
trying to milk us for money. he sent an email awhile back telling us what we
needed. so i take the things in and he says "well you need more pics of the
wedding. and fbi background check, a medical check out from a Canadian doc..."
and so on. i told him i was a bit miffed and that i would have brought
what we really needed had he not been so vague about things in the damn email.
he wasn't pleased with that. but then his culture isn't used to the women
back talking and standing up for themselves. yeah, i don't like him much.

so there ya go. i better go check on my other half. he's been sickly with
a cold and has decided that working 6 days a week would help that.

now it's your turn to update. GET TO IT!