snuffleupagoth: (Default)
This morning I got to wake up to the news that Chris Cornell passed away. I realize that I am the age where a lot of my idols are going to pass away but it doesn't make it any easier. The last year and a half has been brutal for musical idols. Artists I had grown up listening to, artists that are attached to special memories and very special times in my life. I am more sad at Chris's passing than I think I should be. Maybe it's the possibility that he took his own life. Maybe it's the loss of my youth in his lyrics. Maybe it is the culmination of so much loss over the last 18 months. I hope he is at peace. Whatever plagued him has eased and his soul breathes easier. I think it's time for Death to take a vacation.


Apr. 5th, 2017 11:32 am
snuffleupagoth: (Default)
Finally made the leap over here to dreamwidth. Sad that LJ had to go but their terms of service changes are stupid and I don't want to be a part of that. So here I am to write once in awhile. Less than once a month but more than once a year at least. =P
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
There's not really another way to sum up 2016. Many music icons and Hollywood icons were lost this year but more than that, I have many friends who lost family. Some parents, some grandparents and some even lost children. My heart goes out to everyone who lost someone close. I grieve for them and with them.

Then there is the great political loss we had this year. The rich, old, white guy will be in office. He doesn't think he needs to play by the same rules as everyone else. Thankfully he is old and hopefully time catches up to him. Karma is a cunt when she wants to be.

To end this on a more positive note. I have a roof, a partner, and love in my life. I wish everyone could be so lucky.

Happy New Year.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
You are such an ass when you don't have weed.
1. It is not my fault you run out so don't treat me like it is.
2. Yes, I know we just spent a chunk of change on the lawyer but still not my fault
you didn't put money aside for the months I was gone. Weed and legos were more important.
3. Don't be a jerk when *I* just cooked dinner for you. Everyone knows the cook don't eat first and if you don't want the crusty edges of the pizza fucking say something. I can't read your mind. Next time I do pizza I may just put olives on it to piss you off and see how you like it when I treat you like shit.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
An update of sorts.

Been hanging in the Great White North for a few months. It's had it's good spots and not so great spots. Being with Marc, great spot. Not being able to drive my car because it isn't licensed because I am not a resident here, bad spot. Makes me feel trapped. Yes, we have a great bus system here but I am not in any shape to be walking that much these days. I need to fix that. Hopefully with the warmer weather there will be more walking. We do get to use mom-in-law's car a few times a week. Usually when we have grocery shopping to do and that's it. Sure, I get to pick Marc up from work those nights but we don't have the option of any time we want to go we can. It is what it is for now.

Speaking of mom-in-law... She pushed the wrong button the other day. Tried playing the "no one ever helps me" pity card. I was not having it and let her know as much. See, she doesn't ask for help but expects everyone to read her fucking mind and do her bidding that way. I have told her multiple upon multiple times that if she needs help with anything just ask. She doesn't. The couple of times she has, she has failed to do things that were needed for said help to happen. Then proceeds to say no ever helps her. WTF lady?!? So I finally got tired of her shit and let her know as much. I let her know that things were her fault for her lack of follow through. She was blaming Marc for stuff and I stopped being nice. She will be very fucking lucky if nice returns.

I miss my friends. I miss just hanging out and being silly. Bawdy talk and bad jokes. Geeking out over GoT and fan theories. Good foods, good beers. I miss my good people that have been there for the longest time and now are so far away.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
To wish ill will upon others. Those people did not know my piece of shit father.
Apparently my step Aunt ran into him at Walmart. She called my sister to let her know
that he is walking just fine and now rides a Harley (he spent 10 years in a wheelchair
and did the poor pitiful me act because he wouldn't go to physical therapy, which
made it easier for him to NEVER pay child support). Oh and he didn't even ask about
his kids or grand kids. He is not a good man of any kind. There is plenty of other
bad shitty stuff that he did but I'm am not gonna rehash that story again.

IF there is a God of any kind, PLEASE take him out in a fiery, painful crash and let him suffer.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
I would love for someone else to do my birthday planning.
I have planned my own birthdays since I was 16. This year
I didn't bother and surprise! neither did anyone else.
Not even a birthday card.

Thanks assholes.


Nov. 15th, 2015 03:25 pm
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
If I offer to do veggie prep for your spaghetti feed to support the thing you do, make sure you have the damn containers. I even fucking asked if you had them and you said yes. I will not use mine because I do not want them ruined.

Never again.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
It's funny how so many things change in 10 years...
but there are a few that are the same.

10 years and 5.25 months ago I flew to Calgary, AB to
see the Tea Party. Tonight I get to see them here in
Seattle at my fav venue, The Showbox. Both shows had/have
me seeing the show solo and I am quite ok with that.
There is something very deep and very personal for me
to see bands this way. Last time they made me cry, I wonder
what is in store this time around.

I'll write a review either late tonight or tomorrow.

Thank goodness for great music!
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
Another song to add to the Kevin file. Damn you Corey Taylor for writing songs that fit that long lost friendship so well.

Some things are better off forgotten
We bury them in places that we really only visit by ourselves
Oh you were a version like no other
Oh they never tell you what to do when all you see is gone
What's the sense in anything when what they say is wrong?

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Stop me... I find myself believing
A story gets rewritten so a blasphemy's permitted once again
Oh and you were so perfectly imperfect
Oh they never tell you what to do when all you have are lies
What's the sense in anything? It's just one more goodbye

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go

Oh what do you want to hear?
Do you know how many times
I tore myself apart cuz you're not here?
Oh why do you want to know?
Does it make you feel alive?
I had to die to finally let you go
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
I don't care what color you are and I think all my friends know that. That being said, I have zero tolerance for people who don't think there is a white privilege, sexism or that immigrants deserve a chance at a better life too. If you live in a bubble and fail to see the world on a grand scale or fail to see that we should all have the same rights regardless of where we are from, our religion, our politics... kindly fuck off.

You think someone went about getting their message across the wrong way, that's fine but remember it was how they chose to do it and now the message is part of an open dialogue. I don't agree with how the BLM girls disrupted Bernie's speech either BUT I do see why they did it.

White privilege is a cancer. Sexism is a cancer. Immigrants are NOT a cancer (they do the jobs you feel you are too damn good to do). I won't sit by and let you say how crappy a person is for how they chose to do things. I won't sit by and let you go on about how you think blacks have more rights than whites. They don't. They have had to fight for every inch of rights they have received. You don't get why they have black magazines, black channels, black colleges. You call it racism. You are fucking dumb. There has always been white magazines, white channels, white colleges, white men making the rules. The fact that you lack the empathy to even see or understand why you are wrong goes to prove that white male privilege exists.

I may be white but at least I try to see things from a different point of view. At least I keep an open mind to hear someone else's p.o.v. It's too bad that you don't. Have fun in that bubble.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
Marc and I got moved into our new living space.
2 bedrooms and about a total of 750 sqft. I have my very own kitchen again
and that by itself makes me very happy. Sure it is the apartment at his mom's
house, but it is ours and she doesn't bother us. Besides I really lucked out
with my mom-in-law. She is pocket sized and super feisty and I love her to bits.
So happy to be here and to be able to help her out more.

We found our dining table/coffee table yesterday. It is one of the coolest tables
I have seen. It has two 8 inch folding leaves and it's legs are also expanding
so it raises and lowers easily. Articulated table for the win! It is from the
60's or 70's and formica/laminate, but I have looked up how to paint it and that
should be done before Christmas. When it is all up and the leaves are out it seats 8.

can't think of anything else super important right now...
more soon though.

Hope all is well in your world!
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
"How Does It Feel"

And I just want to thank you, for all that you've done
The mess that you've made, the allegations
And I don't want to blame you, yes I need to crack down
You're essential to the process, and the essence of my breakdown, yea

And I can't wait to sell you, to the village of fools
Cos you're a violent hangover, malicious so cruel
Could you keep it secret, you couldn't lock it up tight
Cos you're a sea of information thats spilling out from all sides
I think i might find you, a little clumsy and aloof
Atop a mountain of sand, unhinged in untruths

How does it feel, upon your throne
How does it feel, to be all alone
How does it feel, to crawl so low
You're the king of nothing, you're just a show
How does it feel

And I will give you no words, yes I choose a new stance
Its hard enough to engage, the smart as well as the ass
You couldn't keep it secret, you couldn't lock it up tight
Cos you're a sea of information, that's bleeding out of the lies

How does it feel, upon your throne
How does it feel, to be all alone
How does it feel, to crawl so low
You're the king of nothing, you're just a show
How does it feel

One might deceive
One might lie
One more disease, yea
A great divide
How does it feel
To be on your own
You are the sea
So welcome to the show
Welcome to the show, yea
Welcome to the show, yea
Welcome to the show,
How does it feel
Welcome to the show, yea
How does it feel?
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
let's see... currently in the PNW hanging with my mom for 8 more weeks.
then back to the great white North. although at this point it is looking
pretty green.

i miss Marc. but i am also super proud of him. he got chosen to train
and fix some things in the companies Halifax location. they were going
to have his boss go, but the boss said to send him. so YAY! he flew
out this evening and will be back on Friday night. so proud of him.
while he doesn't love his job, it's mostly the people that make it
stressful, he does like organizing things and making the job easier
for himself and others. hoping this will be a stepping stone to
being the boss in one of the many locations. =)

health has been good. no relapses for almost 3 years now. on one
hand that worries me and on the other i am very thankful that the
med i take works well for me. hope it continues that way. when i
am back up North i will be hitting the gym for some incline walking
on a daily basis. i need to lose weight. while i have stopped drinking
soda for the most part and do eat a lot healthier, i know i have to walk
to lose. that is how i did it before. why walk in a gym? it is a safer
environment for me. since my balance isn't always spot on, it is just
better for me. not to mention having others around in case i over do it.
but i will try not to.

love being able to spend time with my friends here. i am so thankful
for my group of friends. you are all so supportive and caring and funnier
than any stand up comedian. you are what i miss most (besides my mom)
when i am away from the PNW. i can't imagine my life without you.
thank you for just being you and allowing me to be a part of your life.

hmmm... i think that is about it. not much crazy goes on in my life these
days and for that i am truly thankful!

hope you are well and ya'll should post soon.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
of living alone.

seriously. i thought it was common knowledge that if you have roomates,
keep the common areas clean. don't leave your shit everywhere. don't leave
a sink full of dirty dishes. don't slam the drawers and doors at 6:30 in
the muthafuckin morning. you have other housemates that do not get up
that early. learn to contain your shit... if you don't use it, haven't worn it in forever
just donate it and get rid of it. the fact that you have 4/5 of the house storage
and still trying to take up more is fucking ridiculous. you are grown adults
and as such should not have to be told this. >.< .
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
that remind me of why i was against marriage for so long.

if you want to continue living the solitary life, where you
don't give a damn about what others want, then maybe you
should have thought about that before saying "i do."
just because your job is pissing you off, does not give you the
right to be an asshole to me. do you forget who picks you
up everyday? takes when the weather is extra cold? fixes you
dinner? does your laundry and folds it and puts it away?
does the shopping? i may just be a housewife for now, but
someday i won't even be that if you keep thinking you are
Mr. Solitary.
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
could you maybe give this family more than 2 years in between family deaths at this time of year?

it's frustrating when you know someone is going to pass and leave another scar on this time of year.
sure, this is the season for love and remembrance... but it has become the season of loss for this
family. this time it may happen just before she gets to arrive to see her father one last time.
i hope he hangs on long enough, so that means you gotta give him 9 more days.

so that's my Christmas wish... that she gets the chance to say goodbye properly.

*ETA - i asked for too much. ugh. the holidays hate this family. =(
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
first and foremost, it is very nice to see some of you posting here again.
i wish more would come back and post bigger updates about their lives.
i miss my friends and the interactions with them. i miss reading the stories
of their lives. while FB gives us blurbs and peeks, it is no updating machine.

oh to the update...

things have mellowed out here. the sister in law in the house has finally
realized she is not the ruling monarch of the house. thank goodness.
i get that she has lived here for awhile, BUT it is the mom in laws house
and we all are just renters. we each married into this family and will
have to learn to get along whether we really like each other as people or not.

things with Marc and i are good. there's been hiccups and adjusting, as is
normal with any relationship/marriage/living with someone, but for the most
part it has all been minor stuff. it's not like we thought everything would
be perfect from the get go, thankfully we both have always had our eyes open.

we crossed the border and back again today without any issues!! this is the
first time in years that i haven't had to go inside the big building and
explain our whole story to a border agent. AND i made it to Lewiston, NY and
back home without asking for directions or getting lost! another first.
i don't get lost often, but with Marc not being a driver himself he is not
the best navigator. i find that instead of using google maps, using google
aerial view and mapping it myself is much easier. i can actually see where
to turn. g maps likes to send me on the round about toll bridges way. no
thanks! i don't mind tolls, they have their purpose, but if i can get there
without a toll road or bridge... i will.

met with the lawyer a couple weeks ago. lots of paperwork to fill out.
i hope all this goes somewhat quickly, but part of me thinks the he is
trying to milk us for money. he sent an email awhile back telling us what we
needed. so i take the things in and he says "well you need more pics of the
wedding. and fbi background check, a medical check out from a Canadian doc..."
and so on. i told him i was a bit miffed and that i would have brought
what we really needed had he not been so vague about things in the damn email.
he wasn't pleased with that. but then his culture isn't used to the women
back talking and standing up for themselves. yeah, i don't like him much.

so there ya go. i better go check on my other half. he's been sickly with
a cold and has decided that working 6 days a week would help that.

now it's your turn to update. GET TO IT!
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
left Seattle on August 28th and arrived in Brampton, ON on September 6th. was a long and very sunny trip driving out here, but we made it in one piece. saw lots of great road signs. didn't stop to look at much. since i was the only driver, it made the trip longer than it should have been. stayed in small towns and mostly Motel 6, which kept the cost down. i don't think we paid over $65 for any room. had lots of good food. we tried to do local places for the most part, unless we got into a town late and the only option was McD's.

so now i am here. settling in is taking a bit, but that was to be expected. dealing with people who don't have a clue what common courtesy is is a whole other thing. thankfully it is not just me that notices this about this person. (it is not Marc btw, who could not be a better person for me.) this person interrupts my sleep, our quiet time during movies, doesn't give us any kitchen space and when i asked if i could do her laundry during the day when everyone was gone i got "but it is cheaper to do laundry at night". she only does laundry at night a couple times a week, but it is still something i could do during the day and keep the laundry moving so as not to hamper others from doing their laundry and also she doesn't pay the damn utility bill, so her whole argument is invalid. Marc and i are buying a small fridge and a pantry for the basement and Aunt Bonnie is giving us a microwave. so we will have our own little set up and not have to worry about our groceries getting used and actually having space to put stuff. i am rambling and ranting... sorry.

getting used to driving around here. people like to tailgate and not use their blinkers and cut across 2 or more lanes to get to the turn lane they need, but other than that... yeah, my finger has gotten a work out. but other than those things people drive meh up here.

Tim Horton's... i am thankful for Timmy's every day. almost as thankful as i am for Marc. ;)

think that is about it for now.. gotta wait for the noise makers to leave to i can nap. been up since 6:30am so i could take Marc to work for some o.t. will be venting again soon i am sure. =P

hoping all is well in your world and for those of you that are going through some yuck right now, just know you are in my thoughts and i hope everything and everyone finds peace soon. <3
snuffleupagoth: (pansy)
Well the ball is finally rolling with the lawyer and very soon
the wheels will be rolling on my car. August 24th Marc will be
here in Seattle and a few days after that we will be heading
East to Brampton, ON soon after that. i finally get to make
it to my new home. sure, leaving my friends behind will be
hard, but i finally get to be settled in my life with the man
i love. i am very grateful for that.

not sure on the path we are taking to get to Brampton yet.
we can either take Hwy 2 across Canada of I-90 across the States.
hard decisions. i also need to decide on a place where we
are going to stay for 2 nights to take a break from driving
and just get a good stretch out for 24 hours. mom suggested
finding a place close to a bar so we can just chill a bit.
Marc agrees. =)

and then there is the purging of things i don't need and
things i want with me now up there. hopefully next year
we will be able to come out and pick up the rest of my stuff
and my hope chest. the hope chest has to eventually be with
me as i built it and one day plan on passing it to my daughter
or son if i am lucky enough to have one. keeping my fingers
crossed on that one.

so that's about it for now. will leave a note when we actually
leave and one when we arrive home in Brampton. =)
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